Saturday, August 28, 2004

Learning Curve

I am still working on figuring out formatting issues here, as well as learning how to use basic HTML for links and other stuff. Please bear with me while my blog looks funny.

So why is this called Bad Mama? Because I am a Bad Mama. Not a Terrible Mama, as in raising my child in filth and crystal meth and feeding her formula and letting her watch TV (hah! just kidding about those last two!). Just bad stuff, like "forgetting" to feed her solid food for a whole day or taking her to Willie Nelson concerts where PEOPLE ARE SMOKING POT and THE MUSIC IS VERY LOUD even though she is not digging it because I miss loud music and I am hoping for some good secondhand smoke for myself. I forget to do tummy-time, and she still can't hold her head up from her tummy at almost seven months old (though this may have to do with her other physical limitations, to be discussed in a future post). I hate giving her baths, even though she likes them, so I don't nearly as often as she needs them. I have contemplated giving her a dose of her prescription pain medicine when she doesn't need it because it makes her sleep and she won't sleep, and may on at least once occasion have convinced myself that her crying was from pain and not general crankiness so that I could justify doing so.

I try, I really do. I have the best of intentions. I breastfeed and eat organic foods and stay away from chemicals as best I can. I play with her with educational toys as well as brainrotting toys because I want her to be balanced and not pressured. I get her vaccinations (though late) because I think that is what good parents do and I have read all the nonvaccination sites and they all sound like raving lunatics to me. When I do remember to feed her solids, I feed her organic or homemade baby food that is the least allergenic possible.

But other parents remember tummy-time, don't they? It seems like they do. They set a regular schedule for their babies, and take them home when they are tired or obviously not fans of loud music. They read to them every night without fail. They remember to feed them, and to give them medicine on time, and to always put diaper-rash cream on to prevent rashes, rather than waiting until their child's bottom looks like a boiled lobster. Some of them even jog with their babies, both keeping themselves in shape and setting a good example for the children.

I know there are lots of mothers who do none of these things, not even the good stuff I manage to do. We all know who they are. They are the ones we Tsk about, the ones that make Infertile Women and Difficulty Getting Pregnant Women (I belong to the latter group) want to knock them out and run away with their precious children and treat them better because we can't believe someone who obviously doesn't deserve them got them. They are the Terrible Mothers. That is not me. I am simply Bad. You can tell me I am Terrible ("How can she forget to feed her child? If I had her child, I would never forget to feed her!"), but I am from the Midwest, and I know self-righteousness when I see it, and that is it. Now that I have my own child, I have a strange feeling about criticizing other parents. I really try not to anymore, because I have learned that one bad moment does not necesarily make a terrible parent, and I can't tell if a stranger is having a bad moment or a bad life. But I know it about myself. I know I am a Bad Mama, though I strive to someday be an Okay Mama (in other words, I remember to feed my child, but I use regular non-organic food).

So. That is me. This is probably a good time to point out to anyone who chooses to comment that I will completely ignore any negative criticism in the comments. I mean completely. It will be as if you never existed. You can tell me your child is well on the way to curing cancer and so you are the expert, but for all I know he is in prison for axe murders, so I will ignore you. You can tell me you are praying for me and everything will be okay if I accept Christ as my savior, but for all I know you spend your days telling homosexuals they are going to hell and have twisted Scripture to suit your own ends so I will ignore you. You can tell me I suck, and I most likely do, but I don't care what you think because only sucky people tell people minding their own business that they suck. This is assuming anyone reads this at all, much less comments. I am writing this blog to amuse myself and to fulfill my Creative Writing class assignment to keep a daily observation journal (Hi Laura! You don't mind me calling you that instead of Ms. S., do you? Because I think you are my own age and I would feel very silly doing so). If other people like it, that is great. One thing I learned long ago in a writing class was once you put it out there, it isn't yours anymore. You can't control the way other people respond to it. So I will release myself from the need to control this. But that doesn't mean I have to suffer abuse either.

If you are still reading this, thank you. I hope what amuses me also amuses you.


Anonymous said...

Carrie, my friend, I found you! And I like your blog - you are not a bad mama, girl; you are just like the rest of us. It isn't easy at all - if you'd like me to list my mama-faults, I will...but you better sit down with a cup o' coffee (or something of the equivalent), cause my list ain't pretty either - we do the best we can, with love :)

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, that was me -d arn it, I will just go ahead and sign up, gr. LOL

Anonymous said...

OMG, I am a brainless idiot. It's me, CL! Duh -

Carrie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anna said...

*bonks Jo on the head affectionately*

You yahoo. (: