Where I've Been (Again)

In case any of the 2 people who still read this blog (hell, my mother doesn't anymore) and don't know me in real life are interested, I am not blogging because Peanut has decided that sleep? SLEEP IS FOR LOSERS. Especially naps.

The nap thing wouldn't affect me too much (hey, my mom watches her during the day--it really sucks for her), except that on the car ride home she inevitably falls asleep despite frequent toe-ticklings. She will sleep coming out of the car seat, walking up to the house on the insanely busy street (including through ambulance sirens), walking through the house with the dog barking and jumping on me, but literally, as soon as she touches the bed the SCREAMING starts. And then she's refreshed, and ready to go another eight hours or so.

So the bedtime struggle has begun in earnest. She has recently finally gotten to the point where, assisted by a pillow, she can sit herself up from lying down on her own. This is good because it she is obviously more independent, and isn't crying "sit up bed! sit up bed!" to me at night anymore, which broke my heart. Other little kids can sit themselves back up in bed to play as soon as Mama leaves, after all. So now she can, but this is so new that a couple of weeks ago I went in after hearing her crying on the moniter two hours after putting her down to find her sitting up, in tears from exhaustion because she REFUSED to lie down if I wasn't making her. Since then, she has gotten better about laying herself down, but at least half the time that isn't before Letterman and who can stay up that late anymore? Besides Peanut? I can hear her on the moniter, even if (when) I give up and go to bed early, and it keeps me up. She's singing to her animals, they are inviting each other to parties, and periodically they fall down and get boo-boos and cry and call for their mamas in such a lifelike way I have to get up and check to see if it is Peanut or Blue Cow that needs me (I've discovered a key hint that helps me--if it is fake boo-boo she says, "Ow!Ow!Ow!", exactly like that, three times, but if it is real it's only once or twice before the crying starts).

(An aside: Peanut got a Paddington Bear as a gift recently and promptly took his clothes off to share with her other stuffed animal friends. Somehow, Blue Cow ended up wearing the pants. The other night, we were sitting and playing the game with the animals where they all say Hello and introduce themselves to each other. So I have Blue Cow and she has Bear and they politely introduce each other and then Bear says, rather indignantly, "Hey, you're wearing my pants!")

Most nights she finally goes to bed so late that all I can do is feed the pets before I am falling in to bed myself. I'm not exaggerating here, you can ask Big Daddy who has to do all the chores. I am working on various things to help change this, but because I am not cured of Chronic Fatigue Syndrom, just improved, it doesn't take very much to send me over the edge into all-out exhaustion. In fact, I'm so close now that I completely lost my train of thought as to where I was going with this post. I just discovered a sentence I started but didn't finish in the last paragraph, and I have no idea why. Our solution to this is going to be getting her a real bed. She's certainly old enough, and I think she'll feel less like she's going to prison in one. I will be able to lie down with her there instead of in my own bed, so perhaps I will get some sleep there.

Tonight, Big Daddy is sleeping in the guest room, the cats are shut out of the bedroom, and I will be putting in earplugs. Wish me luck.