Shameless Fishing for Comments

Ok, the thing is, other people can wait between posts as long as they like, so that when they do finally post they are witty and entertaining and well thought-through. I have to post every day, and most days I have a brain made of cottage cheese going bad. So that's my excuse, anyway.

Peanut had her first three-meal day today. She's been ready for it for a while, but I always forget one until it's almost time for the next one anyway. It did not make her any less cranky, as I had hoped. I realized that if she eats three times a day, I will be spending at least an hour and a half every day feeding her, and that isn't counting preparation of the food (because I haven't been preparing food outside of taking the lid off the jar--but it is organic!). This is a somewhat depressing thought.

Which leads me into tonight's post question, the equivalent of a sitcom doing a clip show: What did no one tell you about being pregnant/birthing/caring for a baby that you think it would have been useful to know? My answers are as follows:

1. That being pregnant could hurt so damn bad. I mean, sometimes it hurts so much you can't walk, you can't even roll over in bed.
2. That while you may have gone without using a lot of over-the-counter medications for colds, etc. before you were pregnant, you knew you could if you really needed to, and so it is waaay different when you just can't. Also, that sometimes you can take them, even though you assumed you couldn't.
3. That having your husband in the room with you at the hospital isn't necessarily a good thing if he snores.
4. That newborns eat as often as every hour sometimes, and it takes them that long sometimes to do a complete feeding. Do the math, and you'll see why you'll be tired.
5. That babies can sometimes be perfectly happy sleeping no more than 20 minutes at a time, around the clock, for days and days.
6. That a baby can be working on the same tooth coming through for WEEKS before it finally does, and therefore be cranky for that long.
7. That there is really no point in trying to get a baby to sleep on your schedule, or really do anything at all on your schedule, before they are about 6 months old, because as soon as you think you've got it down they change.
8. That you really don't need most of the stuff on the layette lists at all, and most of what you do need you probably shouldn't buy until after the baby is here because whatever choice you make will be wrong for your baby for some reason.
9. That you can't nurse in a sling while you do housework -- it's a lie.
10. That your baby might not like to be carried in a sling, or a frontpack, or even rocked and cuddled.
11. That no diaper works on all babies all the time without leaking.
12. That babies can shoot poo out the backs of the diapers as high as their shoulders.
13. That this will happen the first time when you are holding them in public and don't have a clean shirt handy for either of you. Always have a clean shirt handy for yourself.
14. That your kid, the one you went through all the pain and diet restrictions and headaches with no Advil for, might not look the least bit like you.

That's all I can think of, besides the obvious "How much you'll love your kid". Any other suggestions?