Thursday, October 07, 2004


I forgot to feed her again today. You might wonder how it is possible to not remember to feed your child-doesn't she cry? What kind of mother are you? Well, I have already established I am a bad mother, but I will still explain.

This morning Peanut had a physical therapy appointment at 10 am, and an appointment with her orthopedic surgeon at 10:50. We didn't sleep well last night, because of nose stuffiness (I've tried to explain to her that crying hysterically makes it worse, but she can't hear me over the screaming). So she slept later than usual this morning, and since I spent that free time messing around reading blogs instead of packing her diaper bag, finding her clean clothes, and preparing her food, I didn't have time to do those things once she did wake up, because I tend to forget all of these things are necessary before we leave the house. She doesn't fuss specifically for solid food, so I can just give her an extra bottle (yes, we are doing supplemental formula-my body doesn't cooperate with the milking anymore) and she doesn't complain too much. So that is what I did. After the appointments were over, she was cranky and tired, so instead of giving her lunch I put her down for a nap. When she woke up, I forgot that she hadn't eaten yet, and so it wasn't until seven that she actually had a meal.

This might not seem like a big deal, as she is still only eight months old, and some babies are barely starting solids at that age. But it is a big deal with her. She's been eating solids for three months, and they are important because she needs to put on weight. She is *tiny* for her age, and her pediatrician was concerned enough to encourage me to get her eating solids earlier than she normally recommends. It is also necessary for her to put on weight before she has surgery in a few months. So this isn't just a matter of being a careless mother, it is downright bad when I know it is so very necessary. I blame it on being a stay-at-home mom with a traveling husband, because I have no schedule to keep. These things are never my fault.

The good news today is that her legs are looking good, and when we go back to the orthopedist in January, we'll schedule her surgeries. The first one will involve lengthening the muscles and tendons around her knees and in her right foot. She'll be in casts for four weeks, and then her hip surgery will be done. This surgery will involve bone being taken from her femur shaft and put with the ball of the femur, so it is a longer and more complicated operation, which scares me in a way I haven't been scared before. She'll be in a body cast for six weeks after this surgery, and then she'll be back into a short leg cast for her foot for the final three weeks of the ordeal. The goal is to have her out of casts by next summer. Her doctor is doing a similar surgery on another baby with arthrogryposis in January, so he'll be all practiced for her.

I just realized I forgot to read to her before bed tonight too, though she did get a bath.

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